excessively bitchy

i hate today and everything having to do with it. mostly, i hate myself in today.

i've not felt good for awhile and it's been getting closer and closer to actual sickness. and the closer i get to real-life sickly, the grumpier i get.
for real, i got ragefully and violently angry about the way some kid did his hair today at the bank.
i should be sent to shock therapy.


i think that the hardest life lesson that i'm slowly realizing is that it doesn't matter how generous i am, i can't make others generous just by being so myself. being good doesn't make others good, being helpful doesn't make others helpful. that's a great ideal, but it's not reality. reality, in actuality [i'm an idiot] sucks. i'm over it.