you. stop looking at me as you do.
what do i want in life? i was recently asked this question - to which i responded something about working with street kids in london.
what do i want in life with regards to a family or a husband or a home life? i don't know. i'm ... scared. for as flippant as i am about my heart and the past treatment of it, and for as much as i realize that neither michael nor eric never...intended to hurt me the way they did, i'm scared of that happening again. i don't trust people to not be total douchebags, in all honesty.
my track record isn't the greatest. and it's mostly my own fault. i firmly believe that, had we not dated / drunkenly made out (respectively) i would have two very close and meaningful friendships from the michael / eric debacles.
so, there's this guy. who...okay, i'll admit it i don't know him very well. but i could see him being another great friend - a friend like chris. bleeargh. once the decision to be in a relationship has been made, for the most part, the ability to be really close friends with someone disappears. maybe i just don't have enough control over my heart, or perhaps i just expect too much. i don't know.
this is a retarded blog, i just don't have anyone to talk to about this, so i talk to myself.
i love this song.
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