toooooooomaaaaaaaaatooooooooooo:

so i've been posting my attempts at suburban gardening over at my craftblog collective [acraftacopia.blogspot.com], but gavin needs the world to know that he grows things also. i'd like to introduce you to dwight. his dog's name is jake, but his plant's name is dwight. in homage to the office, apparently.



dwight. the upside-down tomato plant.



watch as gavin whispers sweet nothings to it...and by "sweet nothings" i really mean "threats and mean promises."

WHY DO I CARE

i do not care.

salvation:

it's amazing how beautiful one of these looks when you get off work at 7 in the morning after completing your first overnight shift. and wanting to die.



this almost looks like one of those photo-realism paintings.

hungry.

sometimes the suburbs are beautiful.

yarg.

tomorrow i start my new job. yesterday i had deep and life-changing thoughts about forgiveness and jesus as a standard. today...today i want to be asleep, but i can't. because i'm trying to do the adult thing where i transition into working third shift instead of spending a week being miserable trying to adjust my sleeping schedule.

furthermore, i've pretty much decided to open my own etsy shop...i just have to talk to my tax guy and make a few other decisions, and it's done. well. and i need a name. so...any suggestions? free "jamie craft" to you if i like your suggestion enough that i use it. or part of it. srsly. a little help would be nice.

new camera! mirror pictures don't work well.

guess who is stuck!

this guy!



the snow doesn't look that bad, but it's still coming down. and my car is parked on The Hill of Most Precarious Precariousness.




i miss this city, but right now i miss my bed. and my boots.

craft stuff?

from now on, all of my crafty endeavors will be posted on the craft blog that i share with tammia and megan.

introducing: acraftacopia.blogspot.com [i tried to do a link, but it kept failing. fail, fail fail.]

in other shocking and totally uncalled for news - kansas is cold. and so am i.

guess who got a new camera:

this guy! i know it looks vaguely as if i'm in pain, but i can tell you right now - that's not true at all.

now that i have a new camera, i'm pissed that i waited this long to buy one. mine broke this morning - to the point where i could open it up like a shoe where the toe comes unattached from the sole...not cool.

but here i am now: the proud owner of a freaking awesome camera that automatically switches between macro and regular photos.

best. feature. ever.

t-shirt adventure!

i'm making a t-shirt and it should not be this difficult. i referenced the tutorial about using freezer paper as a stencil on fabric from neither hip nor funky. the freezer paper wasn't the problem, it was the paint that i decided to use. in a stunning display of stupidity [which is normal for me], i totally spaced that i already have white acrylic paint and i bought some spray fabric paint instead. supposedly easy to use and "just like silkscreen in a can!" i hate it. i ended up making two of the same shirt because the first time i left a pin underneath the freezer paper and the stencil leaked. bleeargh. here, for your edification, is my process of shirt-making.

first i printed off "elder of the internet" in the font and size i needed on a regular printer, then traced those letters onto art paper to the exact pattern i wanted it on the shirt.

i then taped the exact pattern for the shirt onto my craft table, so it wouldn't move about on me while i was tracing. i traced the pattern onto a piece of freezer paper, then put a piece of craft foam [2mm thick!] under the freezer paper and cut out the letters with a razor blade.

with the iron on high, i centered the stencil and ironed it onto the shirt. things i learned: don't stretch the shirt when you iron, because you'll have to re-iron it whenever it goes back to natural shape. don't even try to move the shirt after you iron the stencil on. start with your cardboard between the shirt and have it where you want to paint it before you even start ironing.

i placed paper towels over all exposed material, then sprayed paint over the stencil. it looked much thicker than i expected it to, so i took a paintbrush and evened it out over the letters.

the paint dried and i peeled off the stencils. on the bottom shirt i did two coats of paint, which would've been fine except you can see on the "d" in elder where the stencil leaked because of the pin. the top shirt i just did one coat of paint. i think that the single coat worked better, although in some respects if was a fail both times.
the spray fabric paint is so thick that i had to destroy the stencil to peel it off the t-shirt, and had to use tweezers to get the middle of the letters out and on some of the edges where the freezer paper was sticking. using acrylic, the stencil should be reusable several times over.

as for the phrase, "elder of the internet," if you have netflix watch instantly option, you should watch "the it crowd." specifically the third series, fourth episode. it's hilarious!

more life lessons:

• when it's cold, one needs sleeves. period. especially when those sleeves in question which are lacking are coat sleeves.
• drafting original patterns can be time-consuming. drafting original patterns while sleepy can be time-consuming and difficult. drafting original patterns while sleepy and without a ruler or straight edge is like asking jesus for a third arm to magically appear in thin air and attach itself to my torso in a way that is neither creepy nor awkward.
• beards!

evie mae says, "peace out!"